More Hot Stove.

The lovable Andruw Jones has signed a 2 year, $36.2 million contract. The 30-year-old right-handed hitter had 368 home runs and 1,117 RBIs in 12 seasons with the Atlanta Braves, including 51 home runs in 2005.

At the start of the 2007 season Jones was on the verge of that huge, long-term contract that all players dream of, only to sign a 2 year deal. In all fairness, it is for $36 Mil, but what would have he gotten if he hit .250 and 30 HR (as opposed to .225 and 26 HR).

Needless to say, Jones is far from the prototypical Joe Torre player. While he is an absolute wiz in the field, he's a strike out waiting to happen and was never the poster boy for hustle. He is however, the poster boy for stupid annoying faces that you just want to smack the shit out of.

Torre Going Hollywood

In the great migration from the Bronx, Joe Torre has made the best move a manager could by looking to take over the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Yankee legend is now given the opportunity to take over a franchise mired in mediocrity over the past decade and try to revive a once proud franchise. Looking at the opportunity the commoner would say "Joe what are you doing?" To me the move is absolutely genius!

Torre is now given the opportunity to pull talent to arguably one of the most attractive markets in the country, and when I mention attractive it is not in sporting reference, ahem...lips implants. How could any high profile free agent argue with the opportunity to move to L.A. and play under a manager with a laize fair mentality. Joe has the mentality to fit perfectly into an L.A. scene with a script already with the story board in creation. It will only be a matter of time until we see Joe is asking for a divorce after being spotted at the Ivey for lunch after a hard night of partying at Tau with the Beckham's, Lohan, and Twoseamer contributer Dawger.

So please keep a watch on those droopy eyes and at last check he was also sporting three chins, but do not worry Mr. Torre for the almighty L.A. scene will get man sculpting in no time.