Phil Jackson is inappropriate, yet still remains zen.

Phil Jackson may find himself in hot water due to comments he made following the Lakers Tuesday night 107-92 loss to San Antonio, where the Spurs made 13 3-point shots. When Jackson was asked if too much penetration was leading to open outside shooters Jackson said, "We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts. It was one of those games."

As we all know, Brokeback Mountain is a movie about to gay cowboys, rawhide, and roping steer. A spokesman for the NBA, Brian McIntyre said, "The remarks are in poor taste, and the Lakers have assured us such remarks will not occur in the future."

Man Phil, I think it's a good joke. "Penetration and kickouts", it just works. You could have also said, "What do you want me to tell you? We might as well have been watching Sex In The City, we just played like complete fags today." Or maybe something along the lines of, "San Antonio completely ass raped us out there today, it was like an episode of Oz." You'll see that I also included a picture of Christina Applegate from her teenage years. Why her teenage years? It brings us back to simpler times, when irresponsible and derogatory comments were the norm and went unaddressed. Some might refer to them as the good ole days.

California Dreamin'

As the winter marches in like a lion, the suitors for the service of Alex Rodriquez has not. The one formerly known as A-Rod has officially bit the almighty hand that has fed is over paid butt for the past 4 years. Yes folks, this is a direct shot at a man that has officially requested through Scott Boras that he is worth $350 million dollars over 10 years. Well Alex, lets see what that breaks down to over the life of this contract.

First pretty simple $35 million a year, and this is where it gets interesting; $95,890.41 a day or for a complete work week of five days like the average Joe that is $479,452.05 per week. Alex you still wonder why people hate you? Well pretty simple, you are requesting a sum of money that will pay you more money a day than most people in society make in a year. How could anyone expect a man of your regular season stature to take a minuscule pay scale, (that was offered by the Yankees and turned down), and would only pay you $68,493.15 a day?

To quote the great Latrell Sprewell, "How is a man suppose to feed his family." Good luck Alex, maybe if you end up in L.A. people there are more likely to allow you to buy their friendship. I hear Survivor & Surreal Life wannabe's and reality show wash ups are looking for a 4th member in an inspired domino's league on Tuesday nights. Happy Trails.

Him smell green, and be irie

Apparently, Roger Goodell is tired of suspending players so he decided to reinstate Ricky Williams after an 18-month exile because of Williams' violation of the league's substance abuse policy.

Williams had written Goodell a personal letter of appeal that accompanied the medical data regarding his treatment since he had a positive test in April, which had extended his one-year suspension. They Dolphins have been notified and have yet to make a decision.

With all the thugs with arsenals in their homes, making it rain in strip clubs, and beating their wives, I find Ricky's mellow and calming demeanor to be refreshing. I think the Dolphins need him in that locker room. They have tried everything else, might as well smoke out the locker room with whatever unbelievably tasty bud he gets his hands on. Seriously, you've played football, but have you ever played football on weeeeeed man.......

Freeney is donezo

Dwight Freeney was originally expected to miss a few weeks of the regular season, and to return for the play-offs, but now the Colts are saying that Freeney might be out for the season.

The Colts signed Freeney in July to a six-year deal, paying an average of $12 million. He has 21 tackles and 3½ sacks in Indianapolis' 7-2 start. Freeney experienced a lot of pain Sunday when he suffered the injury, and had to be carted to the locker room and left wearing for the team's charter wearing a boot. Swelling in the foot is preventing a final determination of the injury. But if the prognosis is a Lisfranc(???), Freeney would be finished for this season, although the a return next year is good.

Anybody outside of Indianapolis, and possibly New England, care about this? Anybody? No, okay, let's move on and enjoy this picture of Marissa Miller in her underwear.

The Yankees love old people.

On the heals of their 4 year, $52.4 million agreement with 36 year old Catcher Jorge Posada, the Yankees have offered Closer Mariano Rivera a 3 year, $45 million contract. The deal would make Rivera the highest paid reliever in baseball by $4 million. An amount that could net 2-3 serviceable middle relievers.

"To say that's a strong offer would be an understatement," said Hank Steinbrenner. Referring to Rivera and his agent Fernando Cuza, Steinbrenner also said, "The ball's in their court. If they still want to look for more somewhere else, that's up to them." The Yankees also have a 1 year, $16 million deal on the table for Andy Petite, which is pending on his desire to play vs. his desire to retire. Mariano is 38 and Pettitte is 35.

I know, Yankee fan and observers will say that a lot of the Mariano and Posada money is due to their last 10+ years of service for the team, and it's owed to them. Soooooo, is a gold watch part of the deal as well? I understand how important those two....more so Mariano....were to the championship teams of the late 90's and the contending teams over the past 7 years. But here's a thought, how about not overpaying broken down and overrated players for the last 10 years. The genius that is Brian Cashman overlooked his team's cornerstones and decided to give piles of money to the likes of Kevin Brown, Sterling Hitchcock, Carl Pavano, etc, etc.

You know that team in your adult basketball league, the one that is filled with former HS and college basketball players, that had too much fun dominating the average fat white guy. Then overnight they became fat, old guys who get winded midway through the 1st quarter and end up giving up on defense, and cherry pick by staying on the offensive end of the floor, depending on that one young kid that finds there way onto their team. At the end of each game they compliment the younger opponent followed by a story that begins with, "back in my day." Well, this is your 2008 NY Yankees.

Dominique Wilkins, Part II

The Memphis Grizzlies defeated the Houston Rockets 105-99, despite Tracy McGrady's 41 points on 16 for 28 shooting.

This game is of no importance, it's an early game during the pointless NBA regular season, but it's a microcosm of what I fear will be McGrady's career.

I'm a fan of two types of players, the pure scorer (McGrady) and the blue collar workman (Charles Oakley), and I love watching McGrady play, plus he's a good dude wading in a sea of douchbag athlete's. While the Rocket's have started quickly with a 6-2 record, you just can't help but think everything McGrady does is just futile and will always be destined for the 6th seed in the play-offs, accompanied by a first round exit.

I wonder what Tracy had for breakfast this morning? Eggs and toast? Pancakes? Freebie from last night's high priced hooker? Whatever it was, I'm sure it was a savory dish.

The Knicks are a picture of stability.

Originally benched for missing a shoot-around, Stephon Marbury - or Starbury - has left the Knicks. So, needless to say, the Isiah Thomas/James Dolan era of the Knicks continues to progress nicely.

In a text message to NY Post columnist Marc Berman, Marbury says, "“I have one thing to say and that’s I got permission to leave. I would never leave my team on my own. What I’m telling you is that I got permission to leave from Isiah. He said I could go home.”

During a shoot around on Tuesday Isiah had alluded to Stephan joining the team in Los Angeles on Wednesday. In his previously mentioned text to the Post Starbury said, “No, I’m not coming to L.A. as of now.”

Wellllllllllllllllll, somebody is a fibber, and because of Starbury's phenomenal appearance on Mike'd Up this summer, his work with providing affordable sneakers (yes, both Stephon and I are incredibly socially conscious), and his hatred for Stephen A Smith, I'm going to believe Marbury. Plus everything Thomas has done since 1992 has been worthless and just outright horrific. Yep, that's 15 years of failing at life. But you have to hand it to Isiah, after that much failing most people end up going nuts and fall into depression. But not Isiah, he picked himself up by the bootstraps and became a con man that harasses women and convinces men with too much money that he could run their basketball franchises with complete success, then fail, yet keep his job. Score one for the side that believes there is no God.

CC gets the CY

Our self proclaimed infinite knowledge with all things sports was put in doubt today as CC Sabathia weighed-in (he he, cheap fat joke) as this years Cy Young Award winner, despite our best bet.

Sabathia, who was 19-7 with a 3.21 ERA and 209 strikeouts, pitching a major league-high 241 innings, took 19 first place votes winning the award comfortably. Josh Beckett (8 first place votes) took 2nd place, and John Lackey was back in third with one first place vote. (Apparently John Lackey's Mom is one of the voters).

Yes you cry babies, voting is done before the post-season (somewhere Rollins, A-Rod, and Peavy are happy about this), and we know that Beckett is the best pitcher in baseball. While I think the World Series and ALCS MVP might be sufficient, you can't but help to bring up that Beckett was dating Danielle Peck, yet another marginally talented, good looking chick that finds success in the seemlingly talent free country music genre. My point? He has enough. How about leaving some glory for the rest of us you greedy bastard. Well, not me at least, I find glory in my morning bowl of Cheerios.....so majestic. So delicious.

Consider the bandwagon completely empty.

The Seattle Seahwaks defeated the San Francisco 49ers 24-0 last night during Monday Night Football. The 49ers netted only 173 yards of total offense, 72 on the ground by Gore, and 114 breathtaking yards passing by Alex Smith.

I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that the so-called experts were picking this former powerhouse franchise to capture the NFC West, or contend for the Wild card at minimum. What's even sadder than the 49ers team is that they aren't even in last place in their conference. They will suit up in a battle of futility next week, facing those lovable 1-8 Rams, fresh off their first win of the year.

We should call this game "the battle for the 4th pick in the draft", wow that's catchy. The loser must take the QB from Hawaii, Colt Brennan. Kiper's hair will then explode due to frustration since he had Brennan as the 5th best QB in the draft. Kiper will then challenge the nearest person to an arm wrestling match, as he jumps on the console and rips his shirt off only to show a tattoo across his chest that reads BIG BOARD spelled phonetically in Japanese. Well, we can dream can't we....dream and eat cotton candy women dipped in BBQ sauce.

The Dolphins stand alone.

The St. Louis Rams defeated the New Orleans Saints 37-29, on the arm of QB Marc Bulger. The Saints had won four straight and were poised to take a piece of first place in the NFC South. To have their winning streak snapped by the once winless 0-8 Rams has to be heart wrenching. Although one suspects the only team that cares as much as the Saints is the only team left without a win, the Miami Dolphins.

Scoring the last 11 points of the game, the Buffalo Bills, were able to come from behind and keep the Dolphin's winless season intact. This is the 5th loss for the Dolphins of 3 points or less. You'd have to think that with Trent Green and Ronnie Brown they could have eeked out those 3+ points in one of those losses. With the Patriots heading towards an undefeated season, and the last undefeated team being the '72 Dolphins, it almost seems as if it's in the stars to be the first winless team since the '76 Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

I'm rooting for both the Patriots and the Dolphins on this one. But there's something so much more entertaining about watching futility than success. I think the best part about this is that I (and you) would be able to say, without any doubt, that I could have done just as good a job as the Dolphins. I can say it now...through week 9, I could have done just as good as job as Cam Cameron. In fact, I'm going to use this as a basis to campaign for a coaching position next year. I wonder if the Cardinals are hiring? Does anybody really care if they are? While we're at it, how do you think I'd look in grey suit with a nice, subtle, red pinstripe. I think I'd look damn good, as good as whip cream nestled in a Victoria Secrets model's buttocks. So tasty and wrong.

900 King Strikes Again.

Hopefully you were flying high with the 900 King yesterday as the Red Birds were giving Herman Moore and his crew the blues. Another Smart money, 900 sepcial. Remember, I don't want your money, I want your bookies money. I know the teams better than they know themselves.

Yet another Bush implicated.

Sources told Yahoo! Sports that audio recordings that allegedly establish an improper financial relationship between former USC running back Reggie Bush and a would-be sports marketing agent were played for NCAA investigators this week.

Lloyd Lake and San Diego businessman Michael Michaels were partners in New Era Sports & Entertainment, which they claim Bush agreed to join while playing for the Trojans. Bush later reneged, Lake and Michaels said, after he and his parents were provided with rent-free living in a new home, money for a car and payment of credit card debt.

The allegations against Bush, who now plays for the Saints, could bring NCAA sanctions against USC.

I'm really sure at some point from the time Reggie awoke on top of his mattress stuffed with $100 bills, chased the 6 naked super models from his house, made his protein smoothie, admired himself in the mirror for 4 hours, and then chuckled to himself because he is Reggie Bush, he actually thought about these allegations....and did not care.

What I find to be shocking aren't these allegations, but that Reggie actually dated super-whore Kim Kardashian. Reggie, you where the toast of LA sports for 2 years and can do much better than that skank. I'm not sure, you'd think 10 pounds of clown make-up, a sex-tape, and a toxic vagina that would scare even those who don't fear death away. Well, that's just me I guess...and we all know I only come down from my pedestal every fortnight to pluck a young beauty and give her the most forgettable 3 minutes of her life.

No you lock it up....

The Million Dollar Man is here to bail you out after you laid the 26 points to Gardner Webb at the Wildcats and lost. That's right, John Anthony is back, with his Smart money pick of the week. Sunday, you will have pocket Aces as the big blind as it's all in the "Cards". Don't get fooled, you may not see Tommy Herr or Willie McGee around anywhere, but these RedBirds will be giving their opponent the Motor City Blues. The "Edge" is with the home cherpers, and this one may get ugly early. Neil Lomax, Adrian Murrell, Chuck Cecil, and Freddie Jones, represent, The dry zona' puts a major league hurting on this year's version of the 1999 St. Louis Rams.....

Gardner-Webb is a National Championship contender.......not really.

The winningest program in college basketball history, the 20th ranked Kentucky Wildcats, were shocked at home by the exact opposite of a powerhouse, Gardner-Webb, 84-68.

Despite playing in the friendly confines of their home court, Rupp Arena, Kentucky never had control of this game and found themselves down 14-0 just 4 minutes in. This is the first regular season loss by Kentucky to a mid-major since 2001 when they lost their season opener to Western Kentucky. The Wildcats had lost to UAB in the first round of the NCAA tourney in 2004.

Basically, Kentucky only loses to top-ranked teams from other major conferences (ACC, Big East, Big 10, etc.) or within their own conference, the SEC. That is quite impressive, so I can imagine the state of shock those rednecks must be in. The wintermint flavored Skoal is just a little less wintery. The warm beer isn't going down as smooth. Lynchings aren't as cheery as they were the day before the game. My concern in with Kentucky's #1 fan Ashley Judd. I think she needs consoling from an incredibly masculine and charming Northerner like myself.

Tennis is cut throat.

The International Tennis Federation is investigating allegations that Tommy Haas, ranked 13th in the world, was poisoned before Germany's Davis Cup match against Russia. Haas was had to retire from his match against Mikhail Youzhny (yeah, that guy) with a suspected stomach virus. Russia won both singles matches on Sept. 23, and won the semifinal match-up 3-2 to reach the Davis Cup final.

"We take this very seriously," ITF spokeswoman Barbara Travers said Wednesday. "The investigation starts today."

"I'm shocked that something like that appears possible. When I think of how bad I felt, I can imagine it. I've been feeling weak for weeks.," said Tommy Haas who is on his way to the US to get a complete check-up.

Okay, so what the eff is this about? What's next? The Swiss and the Australians having a knife fight accompanied by song and dance? No, the French and the Spainards get into a slap fight, first one to bruise wins!!! Oh, why a picture of Anna Kornikova? Do you want to see a picture of Tommy Haas?

The Hot Stove is heating up......

The one aspect of a sport's annual cycle that baseball has a firm grasp on is the off-season. Outside of a few marquee football match-ups, and a few late season pennant races, and of course the Super Bowl, there's very little else in sports that can be as exciting as the Baseball Hot Stove.

A-Rod is the big fish this off-season regarding free agents. Johan Santana & Miguel Carbrera are the big names on the trading block. Other names that could/will make headlines; Barry Bonds, Jorge Posada, Mo Rivera, and some mid-level Catcher that will make 3X what he is worth.

What a great career choice. Peak at 29, and get paid $12+ million a year for what you did in the past, not for what you should be doing in the future. Not to mention the carte-blanche adultery. Okay, I really have nothing else to say regarding the "Hot Stove", I just had this picture of this well endowed woman on a stove, and needed a way to use it. Enjoy your day......

Don Shula is cranky.

Earlier in the week, when speaking about the undefeated Patriots, Don Shula said "(The NFL's punishments) tells you the seriousness or significance of what they found. I guess you got the same thing as putting an asterisk by Barry Bonds' home run record."

It seems that Mr. Shula is pretty convinced that the Patriots have a significant shot at going undefeated, and wants to get an early jab in, as to protect his 1972 undefeated team and it's standing amongst the greatest of all time.

Well, somebody needs to change their adult diaper. Don Shula coached for over 30 years in the NFL and has clung to that undefeated 1972 season for over 20 years. I imagine Shula went to bed around 5:45, somewhere in the mid-2nd Q, thinking his undefeated season was safe, only to awake to urinate for the 10th time that evening and find out that the Pats pulled out the win. He must have been so grumpy that morning, the nurses probably had to pry open his mouth to feed him his mashed peas and dehydrated milk. Old people can be so annoying at times.

Play like a 1 win team, oh I mean Champion today.....A Rant from an Irish fan.

Oh how the mighty gold has become oh so tarnished this college football season. The once proud Fighting Irish have officially fallen to the levels of UB Bulls, SU Orangemen and Iowa State Cyclones.

Folks the Irish are just plain bad. And with absolutely no excuse! A 1-8 record is acceptable at a school where football is the warm up for college basketball but not at the Universtiy of Notre Dame. And who is to blame? Well Charlie, let's step to the plate. Weiss has done a magnificent job up to this point complimenting the awe-inspiring play of every oppenent the mighty Irish have faced this year. By the looks of Weiss during his press conferences you would think that they finished last year battling through the likes of Hofstra and William & Mary.

The harsh reality is that Wiess has done an awful job of holding himself and his players accountable. I guess the teams listed on the schedule did not get the memo that they were playing the mighty Notre Dame, coached by the great Charlie Wiess. Notre Dame has played uninspired and lifeless football with a bunch of primidonna players. Giving up over 40 points to a bunch of guys that will have career in Military while running the most primitive of all offenses the power I and wing T is humiliating. I believe most high schools run a more complicated offense in comparison to the midshipmen. Currently Wiess and his staff are holding 3 players on Defense likely to be gone on the first day of the draft (Laws, Zibakowski and Crum) has to be a direct reflection on coaching or lack there of.

So Mr. Weiss, here is my plea; Can we please find roughly 30 players that are willing to leave their High School entourage at the door and realize that they start in South bend with a "what have done for me lately" mentality. By the way has anyone scene what a great job Ty Willingham has done at Washington with a young quarterback. If stats can tell a story, here we go: Wiess (1-8) Willingham (3-6), Clausen (ND) (7 games) (-138 rushing) thats correct he has a minus in front of the number, that means he is on his back because of Poor O-line play, (618 Passing) and a whopping total of 68.6 yards per game. Jake locker (8 games) (791 rushing) (1680 Passing) and a total of 274 yards per game. So who is the quarterbacks Guru?

Note from Lee: Charlie Weis has a weird crotch-stomach thing going on, it's very 80-year-old-woman. As for as Jimmy Clausen, who let the Dousch-Bag out of the house.....calm it down killah, you look like you just drank an O.E., date raped a 15 year old, all while rapping a Lil' Wayne song to yourself. The hair says it all....class act all the way.

900 King Strikes Again

Hopefully all of you knuckleheads went with the Million Dollar Man yesterday and loaded up on the "Six - Kings". John Anthony roasting your bookie and padding your purses, yet again. LT was "bolted" to the turf as A-Pet ran loose for 296. Smarten Up kiddies, when the 900 King brings the heat, you better ride the wave. I know the teams better than the teams know themselves.

Tom Brady is better than you.

The New England Patriots beat the Indianapolis Colts by the scored of 24-20, by way of two late 4th quarter Tom Brady TD passes. The win keeps the Patriots (9-0) on course for the NFL's first unbeaten season since Miami did it 1972 and gives them the first tiebreaker over Indianapolis (7-1) in the AFC playoffs.

"This is the first time we were in a ballgame late, there wasn't any loss of confidence or determination." said Patriot QB Tom Brady. This was the first game of the season that the Patriots had trailed in the fourth quarter. They have beaten its previous eight opponents by an average of 25 points a game.

And yet another shining moment in the world of Tom Brady. So let's see, 3 Super Bowl rings, a Super Bowl MVP, and bangs hot women like it's in his contract. I wouldn't be surprised if Tom Brady's hair can cure cancer. Seriously though, at what point does Brady officially become a deity? I need to know because I have to clear some time in my incredibly hectic schedule to bow down and pray. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the Super Bowl rings on his fingers or the stench of super-model on his fingers.