At least we have Reality TV......

Since I was a young pup TV has been a faithful companion, and even with alcohol and degenrate lifestyles being introduced to me over the past 15 years, I still find time to hug my TV set and give thanks. Here are some TV related links.

Entertainment Weekly has a list of "30 TV Shows You'd Bring Back from the Grave", which includes some personal favorites. Off this list I'd go with.......

- The greatest show ever Freaks & Geeks. It's pretty amazing to see how this cast blew-up. From starring in big time TV hits, (ER and How I Met Your Mother) to the Judd Apatow - the show's creator for you simpleton's - gravy train (Knocked-Up, Superbad, 40 year Old Virgin), and of course James Franco, starring in all three Spiderman movies.

- Arrested Development, 2nd greatest show ever.

- Rome, even though I had no real problem with it ending before it became to drawn out and boring.

- My So-Called Life, Jared Leto and Claire Danes before they become unbearable.

- Boomtown, blew most cop shows out of the water, great cast...yes even with the Wahlberg, who I'm actually a fan of. The premise of this show is the same as that new movie with Dennis Quaid and Matthew Fox, Vantage Point . Showing the crime committed from all points of view, cops, victim, and the perp. Good times.

- Jack & Bobby, which had a good premise, just not sure it could have sustained a full run.

Shows not on this list that should be are;

- Firefly, see the movie Serenity if you never heard of this show. Watching that flick almost inspired me to start a e-mail campaign begging for this shows reinstatement. But then I realized I was lazy.

- John Doe, starring that dude who now plays Lincoln on Prison Break. It had a "Lost meets The Fugitive" feel to it, unfortunately they couldn't figure out what to do with it.

-Homicide: Life in the Street, before The Wire, this show depicted the the hardened streets of Baltimore, plus it was extemely entertaining. Showcased some top talent such as Andre Braugher.

-Help Me Help You, with Ted Danson as a self-involved Pyshiatrist. Hard to go through what made this show so damn funny. Whatever it was, it made me chuckle.

The missing links.....

Check this stuff out and ogle this hot skank, model Katie Price - better know as Jordan, when you get a second. If you've never heard of her, in terms of tabloid exposure she's kind of like a British Paris Hilton, except without the trust fund and all that personality.

Deadspin has fun with those arrogant bastards, the New England Patriots. And while we're on the topic, Giant fans check out this pic, and here's that ridiculous catch below.

Britney Spears will be on the cover of the new Rolling Stone, titled an American Tragedy. This, without a doubt, will be the highest selling issue of the year. I find the Spears downward spiral to be nothing short of fascinating.

I'm not a Maxim fan by any means, but this list they did on Maxim Online regarding the Statue of Liberty is pretty interesting, and considering they are not dipicting Lady Liberty with a second rate bikini model wearing a green bikini and holding a torch, it's very un-Maxim of them.

I'm a huge Howard Stern Show fan, and you should be as well. If not, then you obviously have a terrible sense of humor, and suck at life. Howard TV is having a preview, check it out. The info is right here.

Shaq rising from the ashes.

The Phoenix Suns acquired Shaquille O'Neal in a stunning, blockbuster deal that sent four-time All-Star Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks to the Miami Heat. The improbable pairing of the speedy Suns and the slow but once-mighty O'Neal became official when he cleared a physical exam Wednesday.

The Suns' Amare Stoudemire is a friend of O'Neal and talked to him about his new team.

"He says he's ready to roll," Stoudemire said. "Whatever he needs to do he's going to be down for it, and he wants to win a championship, so we're on the same page." O'Neal was to be introduced at a news conference Thursday. He has averaged 25.6 points and 11.5 rebounds in his 14-plus NBA seasons.

I wish I still cared about the NBA, then I might get excited about this. To be fair, this does make the Western Conference race to the top a hell of a lot more interesting. As far as my list of interesting things to watch, with this Shaq trade, the NBA jumps from 55 to 49. Leap-frogging hermaphrodite porn and Mr. Roger reruns.

Bonnaroo...It's a marsupial.

The line-up for the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival has been announced, you can find it here.

Tickets for the seventh annual Bonnaroo go on sale Saturday, February 16 at 12pm EST though http://www.bonnaroo.com/. Also there will be an exclusive 2008 commemorative festival DVD available for purchase when you get your tickets. Hippies and hipsters, start that drum roll and get ready to migrate to Manchester, TN from June 12-15.

The line-up is pretty diverse, which is leading me to believe that the summer festival circuit is now completely unashamed of it's commercial ways. Look, I'm not going to stand on a soap box and scream about the evils of capitalism, but you have to admit that we've slightly drifted from the path of "music equals love" that Woodstock and the Monterey Arts Festival (which introduced the world to Janis Joplin and Hendrix amongst others), had created.

Acts such as Pearl Jam and Jack Johnson headline the line-up, along with Metallica, who isn't normally the choice of the granola, touring scene. The interaction of the naked-because-I-can-be hippie chicks, and the protoypical "metal or die" Metallica fan should be fun. Hey, I like Metallica, and I think some of there stuff is phenomenal, but I just don't see it. It's vibes clashing.

Other acts that jump out at you are perrenials the Allman Brothers, Jack White side project The Raconteurs, brand new alt-rock darlings Vampire Weekend (whose album is awesome, fyi), and hip-hop acts like Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, and summer festival vet, Talib Kweli. There will also be some comics on hand, as part of Bonnarro Comedy, such as Zach Galifinakis and David Cross.

The big rumor has always been that Led Zeppelin would stage a reunion show. Which makes sense, because everybody wants to see there rock idols whithered, with one foot in the grave. Ahem, mickandkeith, ahem.

Actually, all-girl Zeppelin cover band Lez Zeppelin will be performing....which is just as good, no? Have no fear, Robert Plant will be in attendance, teaming up with bluegrass chantress Allison Krauss. I find this interesting and would go to see them if they weren't performing deep in the heart of Tennessee. Life south of Maryland frightens me a bit. Maybe it's the illiteracy, droves of hillbillies in overalls walking the streets without shoes, fat guys in white suits drinking mint julips, and that good ole fashioned entrenched racism that just warms my heart so.

Or it could just be that god-awful heat.

Shock the World

The New York Giants have won Super Bowl XLII by beating the New England Patriots 17-14. The Giants were the only team to beat the Patriots this year, upsetting what would have been a dream undefeated season for New England. The last undefeated season was in 1972, accomplished by the Miami Dolphins.

The Giants began the year 0-2, with both their Quarterback and Head Coach under huge scrutinty, and a Defense that opened the season by giving up 80 points in those two games. Fast forward 4 months and you saw a completely different team. The much maligned Eli Manning was poised and confident, leading an offense that made some spectacular plays. Head Coach Tom Coughlin out-coached the evil genius of Bill Belicheck. The Giant Defense came out and played at a level that no offense could overcome, not even this record setting offensive juggernaut that is the New England Patriots. Kudo's to that Giant secondary, they have been long considered the way to beat that Giant D, and they stepped up huge this game. Shut down coverage combined with a ferocious pass rush equals a scary defensive performance.

I'm still on cloud 9 with this win. The streets of NYC (where 2seamer is based) where insane following this game. I've never been part of a mob before, and I have to say, it's pretty damn fun. If you know of any mobs, please let me know. I have my torch and pitchfork ready to go.

Yanks Trump Mets With.............Ensberg? (OH BOY)

Today the Yankees took another page out of past mistakes and signed another washed up 30 something to play first base. I cant wait to hear the people hyping the fact this late 30 something once hit over thirty homers and how dangerous he will be in a yankee uniform. As a die hard yankee fan once again they have taken this week and played my emotions like only an Asian could at your local massage studio, leaving you wanting just a little more and later realizing, boy that was a bad idea! Now the yankees have 3 washed up first basemen that all had their best years with a little cream and clear flwoing through their veins. Besides one performance enhanced year (ALLEGEDLY) he has been no better than your token 250 hitter with 12 home runs. On that note Lee que the hotty to the left.

I command you to follow these links....please.

Some more shit...sorry, stuff...from around the world that is the wide web. This chick to the right, her name is Danielle Lloyd, the former Miss Great Britain 2006. She was stripped of her title, and apparently she's bat-shit crazy which of course makes her 5 times hotter.

From Deadspin, more fun with Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. Oh man, when will this magical roller-coaster ride ever end!??!?!!? Aren't they just the most.

Armchair GM, with great fore site, has clips of this years Super Bowl simulated via the greatest video game ever, Tecmo Bowl.

Rudy Guliani, the former Mayor of NYC and once hailed as America's Mayor, will formally announce that he is pulling out of the Presidential race. He will endorse John McCain, which I'm sure is a nice way of saying, "Hey Johnny, throw my in as VP when you get the nod and I can really hype up the 9/11 stuff."

Below is Republican Congressman Chris Shays planting a very supple peck on President's Bushes cheek. I can hear the Bill Maher jokes a mile away.

His inner Tony will never die.

The below video, a la TMZ.com, shows what happends when those notorious wild douschebags of NYC get loose and attack a celebrity. In this case it's James Gandolfini, better known to everybody alive as Tony Soprano.

About 11 seconds in to the clip you want to jump into your monitor and help Gandolfini beat this obnoxious jerk-off to a pulp. Man, douschbags can bring the worst out in me.

The Mets plead guilty to stealing.

Venezuelan star pitcher Johan Santana will be traded from the Minnesota Twins to the New York Mets provided the two-time Cy Young Award winner agrees to a six- or seven-year deal with the Mets.

Santana has a full no-trade clause and can veto the deal unless he gets a contract extension, and it's expected that the Mets and Santana will begin negotiating as soon as possible. New York and Santana have until 5 p.m. ET Friday to reach an agreement, a baseball official told The Associated Press, on condition of anonymity. Deadlines have been extended in the past, however.

In return for Santana, the Twins would receive center fielder Carlos Gomez and pitchers Phil Humber, Kevin Mulvey and Deolis Guerra, a package which some talent evaluators believe could be the fourth-best offer that Minnesota received during this process.

The Yankees were willing to part with tippity top prospect Phil Highes, and established Centerfielder Melky Cabrera. The Red Sox had a few offers out there, one that included Jon Lester, and the other deal that included fan favorite prodigy Centerfielder Jacoby Ellsbury with pitcher Justin Masterson and infielder Jed Lowrie prominently involved. All more attractive than what the Mets offered.

As I've stated before, I'm a huge Met fan. I bleed Keith Hernandez. This is an absolute heist. Johan Santana is the best pitcher in baseball. Humber is at best a mid-rotation guy, Mulvey is unknown, Carlos Gomez has talent but who knows how it'll develop, and I never heard of that other dude. I'm almost not annoyed at the increase in price for my season package. I said almost.....that's valuable cash that can go towards my degenerate lifestyle. Somewhere an overweight, middle-aged, Dominican chick is losing out. Poor dear.

The death rattle.

This chick on the cover of this issue of Maxim is Heidi Montag, one of the stars of MTV's "reality" show, The Hills.

From this it's pretty safe to say that Maxim has come to the end of the line. They ran through every A-list actress, legit bikini model, musician, and sitcom star that would appear on the cover and within the issue scantily clad, and saying things like, "I love men who are chunky and drink beer." Lying bitches.

Anyway, so now we come to butta-face, pseudo reality stars that nobody seems to care about on the cover of this formerly prominent men's magazine. But hey, at least she "bares her claws" within the issue. I'm sure she has a lot to say, no really, I can't wait to read it. I heard the next issue is that skanky chick from Rock of Love. You know, the former stripper with the bad tattoo's....no, the other one.

Apparently God hates both Heath and Fags.

The Westboro Baptist Church, made famous by protesting the funerals of fallen American servicemen and victims of AIDS, has spoken out on the passing of Heath Ledger.

You might know this congregation from their other name, the "God Hates Fags" people. There's this great documentary about these dipshit's called "Fall From Grace." It's basically them rambling for 90 minutes, and proving their insanity. It's actually pretty fascinating.

It's sort of like watching the slow kid in your class compete in a spelling bee. Your kind of scared that he'll get a word that you missed correct, which results in your world spiraling into a mad descent. But in the end, he's still a retard, and your only slightly stupid, leaving you superior. That's what the movie is like. You hope that they never make sense, even though your 99.9% sure they won't, and when the movie ends your slightly relieved that you think of them as bigger assholes than before.

Anyway, they'll protest Heath Ledgers funeral, making the day more delightful and fun for his family friends. What good hearted souls they.

Who's yo daddy?

A Vietnamese woman searching for her father worked at his home in Taiwan for seven months without realising who he was before the relationship came to light, her father and police said Tuesday.

Tran Thi Kham, 40, travelled to Taiwan in 2005 hoping to find her biological father, who's name is Tsai Han-chao, he fell in love with her Vietnamese mother in Hong Kong in 1967, police said.



Tran was hired by Tsai in Taipei county to look after his paralysed wife and was reassigned by an agency to a family on the offshore Kinmen island seven months later, after the woman died.
After arriving in Kinmen, Tran realised that she had left a bag containing her father's ring and photo in her ex-employer's home and asked the local police for help, the police in Kinmen said.



Obviously the guy recognized his old ring and the picture of himself from 40 years ago. It's a good thing this guy's not a stereotypical old man that likes to grab the ass of random nurses, and make snide comments with sexual overtones that begin with, "If only I was 30 years younger...." Old men love sexual harassment. Man, the things you can get away with while wearing a diaper.

Look ma, links!!!!!!

Some links to some crap around the internet.

The major downside of a two week break in between the Conference Championship games and the Super Bowl, are the story lines that the media is forced to run with. Deadspin very accurately has listed a few of the storylines most of us are already sick of. At least we don't have to hear "Brett Favre is God" stories for the next two weeks. I like the guy, but he can kick a puppy in the face while shitting in a wheelchair of one of Jerry's Kid's and America would still love him. It's unbearable.

If you have the need to devote your life to anything and everything Heath Ledger, Gawker has put everything into one place, wrapped with a nice, little bow.

I used to not like Jerry O'Connell for whatever reason, but that fat kid from Stand By Me effin rules. From Funny-Or-Die, the video below is a nice little parody of Tom Cruise, and the the inane vapid personality that is possessed by Cruise, and just about everybody else in Hollywood. Yes, O'Connell is a working and actor and who knows how many jobs he lost with this. But it's not like he had many options anyway.

Heath Ledger is dead.

Heath Ledger, the 28-year-old actor who gravitated toward dark, brooding roles that defied his leading-man looks, was found dead Tuesday in a Manhattan apartment, face-down and naked at the foot of his bed with prescription sleeping pills nearby, police said. There was no obvious indication that the Australian-born Ledger had committed suicide, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said.

Ledger will be seen this summer in The Dark Knight, the follow-up to Batman Begins. From the trailers that have been released/leaked onto the Internet, the movie looks sick, and the few shots of Ledger gives the impression that he knocked that role out of the ballpark. Not the easiest job considering whatever he does will be compared to what Jack Nicholson did in the same role, in Tim Burton's Batman.

Curiosity about Ledger's final performance will likely stoke further interest in the summer blockbuster. "Dark Knight" director Christopher Nolan said earlier this month that Ledger's Joker would be wildly different from Nicholson's.

"It was a very great challenge for Heath," Nolan said. "He's extremely original, extremely frightening, tremendously edgy. A very young character, a very anarchic presence that taps into a lot of our basic fears and panic."

I feel for Heath's 2 year old daughter and his family. I'm not going to concern myself with the cause of his death. What I find to be fascinating is the race of statement releases amongst the Hollywood community. So far John Travolta is in the lead, telling EXTRA, “He is one of my favorite actors. His abilities are rare...it’s a tremendous loss."

Somebody protect Ledger's daughter, I hear Dr. Phil's grossness heading right for her, trying to exploit.....uh, produce.....a 6 part special out of this.

The Oscars will not change your life.

The 2008 Oscar nominations have been announced, and you can find the complete list here.

I've been slacking lately and haven't seen many of these movies, so I can't give any educated guess regarding the nominees. Although I guarantee that chick from Juno wins for Best Actress. The academy loves teenage pregnancies, especially out of wedlock. Soulless bastards.

Off the top of my head, the biggest snubs could be Angelina Jolie for her performance in "A Mighty Heart," and Robert Downey in "Zodiac" (actually just about anything in Zodiac, great flick). From what I have read, if just about every category isn't won by "No Country For Old Men" or "There Will Be Blood," the Oscars would be a travesty. I'm hoping the writers strike is over soon so the Oscars go through as planned.

There's no way I can survive without seeing Hollywood congratulate themselves with $5,000 gowns, and Ryan Seacrest do his best Joan Rivers impression on the red carpet. Not to mention the best dressed lists. Those are like butter and heaven mixed together. Deeeeelish and sinful.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

We didn't win awards for our social concious because we gave a half-eaten ham sandwich to that homeless guy two weeks ago.

It's the 40th anniversary of Dr. Kings death, and his accomplishments and sacrifice should be regarded more than just a day off from school and work.

A whole new level of insanity, yet again.

Apparently Britney Spears has become British. I read of this new illness in one of the medical journals I read daily. It's called being white trash with way too much money.

I love this whole split personality thing. The nuttier Brit(ah ha, get it) acts, the hotter she becomes for some crazy reason. I dont understand why. Maybe it's that she's worth $50 million, and just about any idiot with douschbag sensibilities can marry her. All it seems to take is winning her a cupie doll at the county fair. If you get the chance, be a romantic, and throw in a couple of fried snicker bars as well. Yeah that's right, I know how to do it classy like.

Tears of idiocy.

It's mid-January, and March Madness is right around the corner. It's the time of year when many college basketball teams start looking at their resumes, and hoping to have the one or two big win that will take them from the bubble to the tournament.

Maryland, who is now 12-7, was able to hang on an beat # 1 UNC by the score of 82-80. UNC is in the tournament, no questions. With this win, a 17 or 18 win Maryland team is a lock for tourney. Good for them, but that's not the story here.

One, two, three loss college basketball teams are commonplace. Teams on that level take the next few weeks to fine tune for the Conference tournament, and ultimately March Madness. I'm sure on some level Roy Williams doesn't mind getting that first loss out of the way. The world is not ending, but please don't tell these broads 40 second into the below clip.

I like a good woman who knows how to talk sports. I also like a good woman who feels the need to wear rubber maid outfits while serving me ice cream. But that's just off topic. These UNC chicks are just fools, and many fear that this might threaten the legitimacy that 80+ years of voting has brought women.

Insert cliched Man(ning) pun here.

This is a blog, I do not have to be an impartial observer, although I try to when necessary. In the case of my Giants going to the Super Bowl I feel that I need to give a big ass "Fuck yeah!" It's about time I get to watch the Super Bowl with some vested interest. I also need to chuckle at those so called experts that have been riding the Giants obituary since the Patriots game.

The esteemed ESPN panel, who I actually like for the most part, went a collective 0-12 when picking the 3 Giant playoff games. I think Emmit Smith's head would explode if he had to pick an NFC East team not called the Cowboy's. The gentlemen on FOX went 1-8, with Bradshaw picking the Giants in the Green Bay game. CBS? I don't know, every time Dan Marino speaks I feel myself getting dumber, so I choose not to watch. The guys on the NFL Network, who knows. All anybody can confirm is that Deion Sanders is most likely kissing some active players ass to make sure he gets an invitation to Julian Peterson's birthday party.

The game.

First, did anybody expect Lawrence Tynes to hit that game winning FG after missing his last two kicks. From 47 yards no less. Talk about goat to hero. His two misses were from within 40 yards.

The talk was about the weather, and justifiably so. However, it seems that the rugged veteran Brett Favre had more trouble dealing with the cold than young pup Eli Manning. Manning looked solid. He was accurate with his throws, and didn't make those mistakes his detractors wait for. Plaxico Burress ate up the Packer secondary. Al Harris played as well as anybody can while getting their ass handed to him. Plax was just better. As was Toomer and Steve Smith, who is making his mark in the playoffs.

Regarding the running game, it wasn't mind blowing, but it was consistent. Outside of a handful of carries, the runs were for positive yardage, kept the clock moving, and forced the defense to make plays. The Packers on the other hand, had no running game to speak of. Ryan Grant, who pealed off 200 yards against a reeling Seattle Defense in the snow, had a 13 yard run late in the game, and that's about it. Grant ended with 29 yards rushing, while his Giant counterparts and ex-teammates Brandon Jacobs & Ahmad Bradshaw ran for 67 and 63 yards respectively. Bradshaw had a 40 yard TD run called back on a weak holding call, that was behind the play. (Sorry, I believe my bias is showing).

Back to Favre. The Giant Defense game plan was to force Favre to beat them. Take way the run game, and bring out the free wheeling gun slinger mentality that Favre loves to show off. It worked. The Giant secondary played well despite a 90 yard TD play that was really the only sign of life for the Packers. The Linebackers played out of their minds as they've been all postseason, and of course that dominant pass rush had pressure of Favre all game, even though they did not record a sack.

The Giants will play the Patriots in the Super Bowl. The Giants lost to the Pats 38-35 during the last week of the season. Go Blue.

This is why I'm warm...I mean hot.

It's a 3 day weekend thanks to the revered Civil Rights pioneer Dr. Martin Luther King. Tell me, what's more civil than the right to scream at grown men of varying races while they smack each other in the mouths, all for the love of sport.

As for the games. It's going to be frickin' freezing in both Foxboro and Green Bay, and I feel for the fans in the stands, especially the Giant fans that made the trek to Wisconisin. They're used to 25 degrees as being cold, they don't have that extra 35 pounds of bratwurst and sausage to keep them warm, like the Packer fans.

The Pats are giving 14 points, and due to a rare drop by Wes Welker, haven't covered a spread in forever. However, I'm going to go out on a limb and take the Pats with the points. The Bolts could be considered a live dog, but it was only 2 days ago that they were practicing in shorts. Tomlinson is banged up and Gates is a game time decision. I don't think Rivers is a winner, but he's playing well and he's comfortable within that offense. I don't believe weather to be as huge a factor as others, since both teams play in it, but the difference between 79 and 3 degrees is just to ridiculous. While we'r eont he topic. Is there a more unlikable team in football. I know I have said this before, but it's just so annoying to watch them. Small victories, two plays after Merriman sacked Peyton Manning last week, and did his obnoxious dance, the Colts went deep and scored a TD. I wonder how Tomlinson is going to complain after this loss.

Oh, and lets not forget the other team - Brady (enforcing the Brady rule in this post, say the name and get a Gisele pic), Moss, Welker, Stallworth, Faulk, Maroney, and that bend-don't-break-defense.

On top of the on the field stuff, you can't make any money picking the underdog in a Pats game at this point. Most legit books have you getting $110 for every $100 you bet, and if you have a bookie that gives you a better line, while you place your bet say your good-byes, because he's going out of business.

In the NFC, I am going to take the Giants taking the 7 points. Again, both teams are playing in this ridiculously cold weather, which is -20 with the wind chill. These so-called experts love to point to Favre and his big game experience, and rightfully so. But they fail to mention that outside of Favre, the Packers have the youngest team in the NFL. Like the Giants, and most other NFL teams, Green Bay is made up of kids who grew up, or played college ball, in the south. I also love the, "Giants didn't know what they were giving up when they traded Grant to the Packers," comments. It was him or Ahman Bradshaw, and if it was Bradshaw we'd be hearing , "the Giants didn't know what they were giving up when they traded Bradshaw to the Packers."

Okay, my bias is showing. Regardless, I think the Giants have as good a shot as the Packers in this game. It'll definitely be within a TD, therefore taking the G-Men with the points......and possibly outright.

Go Blue. Our fans are in better shape......respectively!