Tennis anyone?

The U.S. team takes a 2-0 lead into the doubles match Saturday, with a chance to claim the Davis Cup title for the first time since 1995. The top-ranked brother tandem Bob and Mike Bryan are slated to face Russians Nikolay Davydenko and Igor Andreev.

On Friday, Andy Roddick cruised past some other guy with an unpronouncable name 6-4, 6-4, 6-2 in the opening match and James Blake outlasted another Russian dude who's name I'm to lazy to copy and paste 6-3, 7-6 (4), 6-7 (3), 7-6 (3) on the hard court at Memorial Coliseum.

So, I got nothing. Tennis hasn't been exciting since the early 90's, which is evident in that Anna Kournikova's panties (see right) and Martina Hingis's (see here) use of blow get more press than anything done on a tennis court within the past 6-7 years.

The Knicks are having fun.

I write a lot about the Knicks. Some say this coverage is bias because I went about 6 years without missing a game, cried when Ewing scored his 20,000 point, and at one time was adamant about naming my first son John Starks. I'm told that I should be talking about the Celtics, Lebron having a career year, and the quiet machine that is the Spurs. Well, have you seen the Knicks lately?? I admit, my attention is always drawn to the Knicks, but c'mon folks, this is a train wreck that you cannot ignore.

Last night the New York Knicks fell to the upstart Boston Celtics 104-59. Yes, they lost by 45 points. I think they should have gave up much earlier in the game and made it a cool 50. As I've stated before, the worse Isiah looks, the more support he seems to gain from owner extraordinaire James Dolan.

Does anybody remember that Thomas is one of the best PG's of all time? That he lead the Detroit Pistons to back-to-back NBA Championships? It's unbelievably hard to tarnish those achievements, so you have to give Isiah credit in that sense. When you fail, you might has well fail spectacularly. There's really nothing to do but point and laugh.

In the dark.....

Tonight's Green Bay at Dallas game, is this seasons marque match-up in the NFC, and will most likely mean home field advantage for the playoffs.

Unfortunately, many of us will not be able to see this game as it's on the NFL Network. All of you lucky bastards with Verizon or the Comcast Digital package, amongst a few others, will get to watch the game in the lovely, warm confines of your couch and stuffing your fat face with all the delectable garbage you can get your hands on. I'll be standing outside of Best Buy watching from the street.

Speaking of whores, the Thanksgiving dinner that both Romo and Jessica Simpson attended was set-up by her dad, Joe Simpson. This dude loves to pimp out his daughter, its insane. As for Romo......Homeboy, you are the QB for the Dallas Cowboys for heaven's sake. Are you this starved for attention that you need to pull gimmicks like this? Come on, have a little self-respect and do all of us untalented slobs a favor, and dive head first into the skank-filled pool that is the Dallas social scene. There's no shame in it, I'd do it, all the strapping young men who read this blog would do it, as well as the fat ones.

As far as the game, I think Green Bay is a better team but I'm not sure that home field advantage doesn't play into this game. It'll be Favre's job to get his young skill players calm, and in the groove. It'll be a close one, I'm taking the Pack with the 7 points. It just seems like too much to give, especially when it's a very real possibility that the Packers could win.

The Twins love the Hot Stove as much as me.

Johan Santana is the big name regarding trade rumors this baseball off-season, with teams like the Yankees, Mets, Red Sox, and the Dodgers offering up prospects by the truck load. While this may be the centerpiece of the Twins off-season, they don't seem to be forgetting about other parts of their team.

As part of a 6 player trade the Twins dealt SP Matt Garza to the Devil Rays for OF Delmon Young. With this trade, the Twins fill the hole that Torii Hunter left in CF, at least at the plate. This will also allow them to hold out for more pitching when teams ask about Santana. Good for them, Johan is an ace, they shouldn't give into anybody and expect a king's ransom in return.

Other Hot Stove happenings.....

-According to the St. Louis Post Dispatch, the Cardinals are looking at other options at SS before they make a run at bringing back incumbent David Eckstein. One of these possibilities is Miguel Tejada. The chances seem to be slim to none, although Pirate SS Jack Wilson seems to be the front-runner.

-Aaron Rowand thinks highly of himself, and his going to use his career year to try and get an exorbitant amount of money. Apparently GM's caught on to the whole playing-in-a-ban-box thing. The White Sox have passed on Rowand returning to roam CF for them, and apparently Red Sox CFer Coco Crisp seems to be the name they are tossing around at Cellular Field. (If the White Sox ever want to truly compete with the Cubs, they really need to come up with a different name for their ballpark).

Rowand's fate could definitely be tied to the Santana trade. If the Yankees end up parting with Melky Cabrerra then Rowand could be sitting there to reap the Yankee windfall and take over in CF.

- The Mets are in desperate need of a top of the line starter, and it doesn't look like they have the chips to compete with the other teams in the Santana race. Instead the MEts will be looking in Oakland trying to get either Dan Haren or Joe Blanton, and as NY Newsday mentioned, it looks as if Billy Beane will be holding their feet to the fire, and they're going to have to overpay for both.

Again, a pic of a hot chick in a kitchen to signify the Hot Stove...well, not really in a hot kitchen, but who cares, Vida Guerra is pretty damn hot so it works for me. Plus I'm pretty sure most baseball players wouldn't mind sleeping with her, so this pic works on many levels.

I dislike Marko Jaric

Apparently Minnesota Timberwolves Yugoslavian swingman Marko Jaric is dating Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima, who was previously featured in our beloved blog due to her dalliance's with Supermodel OB/GYN Derek Jeter.

Jaric is averaging 9.5 ppg, 2.9 rebounds, and 4 assists over the first 13 games of this season. I'm not an expert in male beauty but Jaric is by no means as good-looking as Derek Jeter or myself, nor is he as successful in our chosen paths. (My path being that of an International Playboy and Super-Spy).

From my understanding, the Yugoslavian government is planning on naming a "Marko Jaric Day" due to this achievement, and I really cannot blame them. I would put a pic of both Lima and Jaric but it would just piss you off for not being born a 6'9 European with marginal basketball skills. Here's the lovely Adriana, put Marko out of your mind and pretend she's at your house, cooking you chocolate chip pancakes and sleeping with the plumber. Ah, women.

Top 5 Freshmen....... not named OJ or Love

Well folks, arguably the most entertaining sport is back and to the delight of this 2-seamer contributor the freshman crop looks impressive. I don't know if my love for college hoops is driven by the fact that it is fun to watch basketball where the guys actually give effort, (Mr. Stern are you listening), or the fact that in November I love bracketology, but college hoops is back!

I have outlined five players that are show stoppers at the collegiate level and I am encouraging to catch them before they jump to the NBA next year to ride the pine next to Penny Hardaway.

Eric Gordon out of Indiana. Yes folks finally Indiana has a player that can shoot the lights out, but will also look for the opportunity to give you a facial while taking it hard to the rim. He's also partial to a mani/pedi down the lane as well.

Kyle Singler out of Duke. Ok, I know it is the token white guy, but what would you expect. He has the complete game; inside and outside. Don't look for him to give you a major dunk but he will be that guy with 18 points & 10 rebounds & 6 assists. Talented white dudes just love going to Duke. I think it's all the chicks in loafers.

Donte Green with Syracuse. He is one of 2 Mcdonalds all Americans driving Boeheim nuts, having to start a freshman. This kid is a baller. At 6' 11'' he can jump out of the gym or take you behind the arc and shoot with confidence. Plus his name is Donte, spelled without any unnecessary punctuation, and that's always appreciated.

Derrick Rose with Memphis. The kid can flat out handle the rock. He is perfect fit for Calipari's attacking offense, and should be an easy 15 points and 12 assists guy. Rose is the prototypical Calipari one-and-done player.

Michael Beasley. Any kid out of Massachusetts that chooses to go to Kansas St. must have some issues, but at the end of the day he is a complete show stopper.

Please take some time to watch these great teenagers before some agent inflates their ego and convinces them it is time to go pro before they can drink a beer legally, and have the chance to sleep with sluttier white women they won't have to see in Intro to Psych 3 times a week.

$30 Mill to beat Bonds.

As anybody who has eyes knows, the Yankees are currently finalizing a deal with Alex Rodriguez for 10 years, $275 million. As part of the deal, the Yankees will give Rodriguez a $30 million pay-out if (when) he breaks Barry Bonds HR record.

I believe that a large part of the Yankees wanting to bring A-Rod back is because it's pretty imminent that he will break the HR record, and they would love to have the recorder holder back in a Yankee uniform after 30+ years. This is completely understandable, it's definitely something to be proud of and the Yankees are an organization that choke on their own pride on a daily basis.

This type of payout is pretty much commonplace in sports now-a-days, and the HR record is arguably the most prestigious record in sports, sooooo isn't the glory enough for A-Rod? Does he try to polarize himself with the common baseball fan on purpose? On top of having the personality of a bath towel and the tact of a drunk sorority chick, he seems to be a masochist as well. I guess that would make that blonde chick in Toronto the sadist, which explains why she was carrying the ball-peen hammer and pliers. Oh no wait, that's my life. Sorry for the mix-up.

Mark Prior is probably injured.

According to Buster Olney on ESPN.com, Cubs righthander, former top prospect Mark Prior, 27, is available via trade.

Prior, had shoulder surgery this past April and is expected to pitch the 2008 season. Prior missed the 2007 season and pitched in under 60 games since his supposed breakout year in 2003 when he went 18-6 with a 2.43 ERA.

You have to feel for this guy, he can't sneeze without pulling a muscle causing him to go on the DL, which begs the question - What is a team willing to give up for an oft-injured pitcher who hasn't pitched a full season in 4 years?

If I'm a GM my highest offer is a really, really good Turkey Club from this joint down the block that not many people know about, but gives free pickles and a can of soda with each sandwich. I know, I know, the can of soda is risky, but bold moves are made by bold people. I'm not saying that I'm bold, but I'm not not saying that either.

A little something for South Florida

With the news of Miami native Sean Taylor's death and the current state of the Miami Dolphins, not to mention all of Miami area sports, I figured our people down in Florida could use a little cheering up by way of the skanky beauty that is Leticia Cline. But then I realized that Leticia Cline is a mere 6 on the South Beach scale, so eff those guys. This pic is for all of those in the rainy and cold Northeast, and Eli Manning. Chin up bro, I may be devastatingly handsome, but I'm no Peyton either.

R.I.P. Sean Taylor

Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor died early Tuesday, a day after he was shot at home by what police say was an intruder. He was 24.

Taylor was routinely involved in off-the-field incidents throughout his short career, including an 18-month probation for an assault charge, during which he pledged to donate time and money to various charities and schools in southern Florida.. Many teammates have noticed changes in Taylor since the birth of his daughter, Jackie.

"It's hard to expect a man to grow up overnight," said Redskins teammate and close friend Clinton Portis, who also played with Taylor at the University of Miami. "But ever since he had his child, it was like a new Sean, and everybody around here knew it. He was always smiling, always happy, always talking about his child."

"He loved football. He felt like that's what he was made to do," Redskins coach Joe Gibbs said. "And I think what I've noticed over the last year and a half ... is he matured. I think his baby had a huge impact on him. There was a real growing up in his life."

My condolences to the Taylor family. There is no official word, but it's highly speculated that this crime was gang related an was due to incidents in Taylor's past. Of course this is all speculation, but let's hope that at least one athlete that continues to surround himself with shady people and hanger-ons takes this to heart.

Shut the eff up Hank.

The New York Yankees and Minnesota Twins have started trade talks involving Johan Santana. Yankees senior vice president Hank Steinbrenner said Monday that discussions are ongoing but it was too early to tell whether they would lead to a deal. He did not detail how far talks had progressed.

"I don't want to get into that at this point, as far as what they want, what we're willing to give and all that," he said. "It's preliminary right now."

Then why say something?? Hank, George's kid, has been in charge of the team for a few months, which is as long as he has been involved with any dealings regarding the Yankees. Yet, for some reason he likes to take credit for anything the Yankees have done since his father bought the team 30ish years ago.

As opposed to the late 90's, when teams just gave the Yankees players for next to nothing, it looks like the Twins will not go without being justly compensated for Santana, who is widely considered one of the best pitchers in baseball, if not the best.

The Twins are deep in pitching throughout their organization but it seems as if they are asking for at least two pitching prospects (definitely Phil Hughes, and either Ian Kennedy and Joba Chamberlin) and some bats (Melky Cabrera and most likely Robinson Cano as well).

UPDATE: Hank Steinbrenner is also asking for a 50% off coupon, good at all Minneapolis area Old County Buffet establishments.....you know, because he's a fat bastard, and fat bastards eat a lot.

Thank you Pittsburgh

Jeff Reed's 24-yard field goal with 17 seconds left Monday night gave Pittsburgh a 3-0 victory over Miami, the first time in 64 years an NFL game went that long without any points.

"Those conditions, whew, they were horrendous," Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward said after daylong rain and new sod created awful playing conditions. "The footing was bad, all of a sudden you'd hit a water puddle and sink down. Some of defensive backs were scared about falling down and giving up a big play."

The dream season stays alive. I must admit that I was nervous towards the end of the game. You had a feeling that a ball, or fumble, had to bounce Miami's way eventually. But no, further proving that destiny wants the symmetry of two perfect seasons (the Pats 16-0 vs. Miami's impending 0-16). Bright side, at least Miami gets the first pick in the draft. I'm almost pretty sure they won't screw it up.

Sean Taylor shot.

Washington Redskins star safety Sean Taylor was shot in the leg at his home Monday and was bleeding heavily, and police said he was in critical condition. They are investigating a possible robbery.

Officers were sent to Taylor's home at about 1:45 a.m. after his girlfriend called 911 and said he was shot in his lower body, Lt. Nancy Perez said. He was airlifted to Jackson Memorial Hospital, she said, but did not disclose how many times he was shot.

"It could have been a possible burglary; it could have been a possible robbery," Perez said. "It has not been confirmed as yet."

Man, that's terrible. I'm sure the first thought will be about the company Taylor keeps, especially since he played at Miami, which is a bastion of character building and righteousness [sarcasm].

Get well Sean.

Cheerleaders rule.

Former Tampa Bay Buccaneer cheerleader and "The Bachelor" winner Mary Delgado was taken into custody on a battery charge after she punched Byron Velvick in the face, according to the celebrity Web site TMZ.com. Velvick chose Delgado to be his bride during the sixth season of the popular (why?) reality series.

You know what they say, once a cheerleader, always a cheerleader. You don't just chant the cheer, you live the cheer. Well she apparently took "Be Aggressive, B-E Aggressive" to heart.

The Knicks do good.

Eddy Curry scored 21 points against his former team, and New York snapped its eight-game losing streak with an 85-78 victory over the Chicago Bulls on Saturday afternoon.

Neither the Bulls or the Knicks are off to scorching starts, but this was a win that the beleaguered Knicks, and their maligned coach needed.

''In New York, you're either dead or alive,'' Knicks coach Isiah Thomas said. ''You lose a game and you're dead and you win one and you basically get to survive.''

Nice win guys, way to snap that 8 game losing streak. In James Dolan land that might have earned Thomas another contract extension. hell, you know what, it's a Saturday and the team won.....can somebody...anybody....say strippers and champagne!!!! It's not like the Knicks have anything to worry about, you can trust Starbury and Zach Randolph in a strip club. Just let's keep all the female co-workers away, that's just a recipe for disaster. Did I go to far? Your right, can you really expect grown men to respect women in a strip club. I ask way to much of people.

Vinny is cold, thinks your music is too loud, and dinner is at 3:30.

Carolina QB Vinny Testaverde is listed as questionable for the Panthers' game this Sunday against the new Orleans Saints after he showed up for practice Saturday with a stiff back.

If Testaverde can't play, David Carr would likely be the starting QB against New Orleans (4-6) four days after coach John Fox had said the 44-year-old Testaverde gave Carolina (4-6) a better chance to win. Season starting Quarterback, Jake Delhomme, was lost to a season-ending right elbow injury in Week 3.

How bad does former number one pick David Carr have to feel? Carolina thinks they have a better chance with a way-past-his-prime QB taking the snaps. What's even worse is that when Testaverde was in his prime he was never that great. And is anybody surprised that Vinny is injured? I'm surprised that a limb hasn't fallen off. Or that he can hold his bowels long enough to complete a quarter of play. Needless to say, Carolina's QB situation is just fantastic.

Is Rainbow Warriors the worst nickname in sports?

Just a heads up, tonight is what could end up being the most exciting college football game of the season. With the Western Athletic Conference title on the line, the 14th-ranked Warriors look to remain undefeated as they try to avoid a seventh straight loss to the No. 17 Broncos in this highly anticipated meeting in Honolulu. Hawaii will also be showcasing their QB Colt Brennan who could put himself towards the top of the Heisman race with a stellar showing.

If you hate defense than this game is for you. I'm taking Hawaii giving 3 points, so I'll be unexpectedly rooting for the Rainbow Warriors. You know, it actually sounds pretty decent. I think Alabama should change their nickname to the Crimson Hugs, and SW Louisiana should go with Ragin' Puppies. Just a suggestion. It's the holiday season, here's a picture of George Clooney's ex-girlfriend, soft-core star Krista Allen for you to enjoy. Never say I'm not a giving person.

Baseball players love money.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim signed 7-time Gold Glove winner Torii Hunter to a five-year, $90 million (that's $18M annual) deal Wednesday. Hunter hit .297 with 28 homers and drove in 107 runs for Minnesota this year. Happy Thanksgiving Torii.

With signing Hunter the Angels hope to give that added protection to Vladimir Guerrero in the middle of their line-up. Along with Gary Matthews, and Garret Anderson switching off between OF and DH with Guerrero, the Angels all the sudden have one of the top outfields in the majors. Although there are some rumblings that Matthews Jr. could be headed to Baltimore for Miguel Tejada.

I love Hot Stove, and as I have stated before, for die hard baseball fans it's just as exciting as the actual season (which actually means something, unlike hockey and basketball, but I digress). I also like talking about the baseball Hot Stove because it gives me an excuse to post a picture of a hot chick in a kitchen, which implies she's within relative distance of a stove......get it? Enjoy Laetitia Casta.

Turkey Day football recap.

Green Bay 37, Detroit 26 - Brett Favre ripped up that vaunted Lions defense throwing for 381 yards and 3 TD's on 31-41 passing. Watching Favre and the Packers you might begin to think that your caught in a time warp and it's 1993 all over again, Favre looks reborn. Speaking of reborn, Kitna shows us yet again that God gives him strength to go to carve up a prevent defense late in the game. But seriously folks, if Ryan Grant can keep up this facade and pretend to be a legit RB for the next 2 months it looks like it might be the Packers getting blown out by the Patriots in this years Super Bowl.

Dallas 34, NY Jets 3 - Coming off a nice win and based on their slim margin of defeat and the fight they put up in previous losses, I was one of the few who actually thought the Jets would keep it close and beat the spread. Wow, was I wrong. I thought the Jets had a better chance in this game if they had Pennington at QB.....did I just say that, whoa I'm dizzy. Dallas keeps rolling with superb play from Owens, Witten, and the two head RB monster. That's right, I'm only giving Romo marginal credit.

The biggest game in the NFC is next week when Dallas plays Green Bay, where home field for the playoffs will likely be decided. Oh by the way, this game is on the NFL Network so due to the dispute of billionaires over millions of dollars, most of us will not get to watch this game. I'm not a cable company fan, but I'm with them on this one....way to go NFL, put the dollars ahead of your fan base. Get over yourself, nobody watches the NFL Network in June (unless of course you want to watch a recap of the Carolina Panthers 1999 season) and wants to pay extra for what pans out to be 8 football games. Some we'll watch, and some will be as worthless and as exciting as last nights game. Great segue.........

Indianapolis 31, Atlanta 13 - After taking the 1st Quarter off and getting into a 13 point hole, the Colts scored 31 of the next 34 points to roll to victory over the Falcons. The Colts broke out of their little funk, and Manning did what Manning normally does going 22-32, for 272 yards and 3 TD's.

Watching the Falcons play is tough. This crack down on dog-fighting not only ruined my main source of income, but Atlanta sports as well. Can we contract Atlanta as a city? It's what they wanted 150 years ago anyway, isn't it?

Happy Thanksgiving

To our hundreds (or maybe more like 4 or 5) faithful readers, we're on a short Thanksgiving break. Enjoy stuffing your face. I will be lulling myself into a trypdophane(?) induced coma, and enjoying every carb laden second.


See you Friday....enjoy.