Yanks Trump Mets With.............Ensberg? (OH BOY)

Today the Yankees took another page out of past mistakes and signed another washed up 30 something to play first base. I cant wait to hear the people hyping the fact this late 30 something once hit over thirty homers and how dangerous he will be in a yankee uniform. As a die hard yankee fan once again they have taken this week and played my emotions like only an Asian could at your local massage studio, leaving you wanting just a little more and later realizing, boy that was a bad idea! Now the yankees have 3 washed up first basemen that all had their best years with a little cream and clear flwoing through their veins. Besides one performance enhanced year (ALLEGEDLY) he has been no better than your token 250 hitter with 12 home runs. On that note Lee que the hotty to the left.

I command you to follow these links....please.

Some more shit...sorry, stuff...from around the world that is the wide web. This chick to the right, her name is Danielle Lloyd, the former Miss Great Britain 2006. She was stripped of her title, and apparently she's bat-shit crazy which of course makes her 5 times hotter.

From Deadspin, more fun with Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. Oh man, when will this magical roller-coaster ride ever end!??!?!!? Aren't they just the most.

Armchair GM, with great fore site, has clips of this years Super Bowl simulated via the greatest video game ever, Tecmo Bowl.

Rudy Guliani, the former Mayor of NYC and once hailed as America's Mayor, will formally announce that he is pulling out of the Presidential race. He will endorse John McCain, which I'm sure is a nice way of saying, "Hey Johnny, throw my in as VP when you get the nod and I can really hype up the 9/11 stuff."

Below is Republican Congressman Chris Shays planting a very supple peck on President's Bushes cheek. I can hear the Bill Maher jokes a mile away.

His inner Tony will never die.

The below video, a la TMZ.com, shows what happends when those notorious wild douschebags of NYC get loose and attack a celebrity. In this case it's James Gandolfini, better known to everybody alive as Tony Soprano.

About 11 seconds in to the clip you want to jump into your monitor and help Gandolfini beat this obnoxious jerk-off to a pulp. Man, douschbags can bring the worst out in me.

The Mets plead guilty to stealing.

Venezuelan star pitcher Johan Santana will be traded from the Minnesota Twins to the New York Mets provided the two-time Cy Young Award winner agrees to a six- or seven-year deal with the Mets.

Santana has a full no-trade clause and can veto the deal unless he gets a contract extension, and it's expected that the Mets and Santana will begin negotiating as soon as possible. New York and Santana have until 5 p.m. ET Friday to reach an agreement, a baseball official told The Associated Press, on condition of anonymity. Deadlines have been extended in the past, however.

In return for Santana, the Twins would receive center fielder Carlos Gomez and pitchers Phil Humber, Kevin Mulvey and Deolis Guerra, a package which some talent evaluators believe could be the fourth-best offer that Minnesota received during this process.

The Yankees were willing to part with tippity top prospect Phil Highes, and established Centerfielder Melky Cabrera. The Red Sox had a few offers out there, one that included Jon Lester, and the other deal that included fan favorite prodigy Centerfielder Jacoby Ellsbury with pitcher Justin Masterson and infielder Jed Lowrie prominently involved. All more attractive than what the Mets offered.

As I've stated before, I'm a huge Met fan. I bleed Keith Hernandez. This is an absolute heist. Johan Santana is the best pitcher in baseball. Humber is at best a mid-rotation guy, Mulvey is unknown, Carlos Gomez has talent but who knows how it'll develop, and I never heard of that other dude. I'm almost not annoyed at the increase in price for my season package. I said almost.....that's valuable cash that can go towards my degenerate lifestyle. Somewhere an overweight, middle-aged, Dominican chick is losing out. Poor dear.

The death rattle.

This chick on the cover of this issue of Maxim is Heidi Montag, one of the stars of MTV's "reality" show, The Hills.

From this it's pretty safe to say that Maxim has come to the end of the line. They ran through every A-list actress, legit bikini model, musician, and sitcom star that would appear on the cover and within the issue scantily clad, and saying things like, "I love men who are chunky and drink beer." Lying bitches.

Anyway, so now we come to butta-face, pseudo reality stars that nobody seems to care about on the cover of this formerly prominent men's magazine. But hey, at least she "bares her claws" within the issue. I'm sure she has a lot to say, no really, I can't wait to read it. I heard the next issue is that skanky chick from Rock of Love. You know, the former stripper with the bad tattoo's....no, the other one.