Racism resembles a 9 iron

Golfweek magazine replaced the editor responsible for illustrating the current cover with a noose and apologized Friday for its depiction of a Golf Channel anchor's use of "lynch" in a comment about Tiger Woods.

"We apologize for creating this graphic cover that received extreme negative reaction from consumers, subscribers and advertisers across the country," Turnstile Publishing Co. president William P. Kupper Jr. said. "We were trying to convey the controversial issues with a strong and provocative graphic image. It is now obvious that the overall reaction to our cover deeply offended many people. For that, we are deeply apologetic."

Turnstile is the parent company of Golfweek.

Wow, the media that covers golf is trying really hard to scare off anybody who's tasted a chitlin. I understand that Golfweek was commenting on the remarks made by Kelly Tilghman of the Golf Channel, joke. Has anybody heard of tact and tastefulness? I can't imagine has a readership of higher than 56-57 people a week and none of them black, so I can see how they weren't expecting such an outcry.

I'm somewhat disappointed though. Why not go the whole nine yards with a cover like that. Throw in an article saying that the mini-series Roots was horrible, revisionist history. An editorial about hip-hop culture and how they fund Al Queda. Claim Al Sharpton to be the logical successor to Dr. Martin Luther King. Call me nit picky, but I just don't like watching something done half-ass.

The big check mate.

Bobby Fischer, the reclusive chess genius who became a Cold War hero by dethroning the Soviet world champion in 1972 and later renounced his American citizenship, has died. He was 64.

Fisher died in a Reykjavik hospital on Thursday of kidney failure after a long illness, his spokesman, Gardar Sverrisson, said Friday.

Fischer lost his world title in 1975 after refusing to defend it against Anatoly Karpov. He dropped out of competitive chess and largely out of view, emerging occasionally to make erratic and often anti-Semitic comments, although his mother was Jewish.

Seems that Fischer couldn't go with the ole Knight to Rook 6 to get out of this jam. Ah chess metaphors, they work so well since nobody knows what the hell your talking about. I once played chess. It was going well until I realized that I could be sitting on the couch, watching TV, and stuffing my face with delectable trans fats. That, or starting my own porn production company, "Classy Lee's Classless Films". It's all about truth in advertising.

(Oh, the artsy pic of that girl. In honor of this wack job dying in Iceland I have decided to put a pick of a Iclandic chick as opposed to the bearded weirdo).

My apologies to Eminem, and all of hip-hop. Actually, all of music.

Apparently there's an up and coming teen country sensation named Taylor Swift (who isn't to shabby in the looks department). Don't fret, I'm the Vice president of Music and I haven't even heard of her. Anyway, during a concert at what looks like, and most likely is, a county fair she covered part of Eminem's "Lose Yourself". Which is the Oscar winning song featured in the movie "8 Mile", which starred Eminem and everybody's favorite Black TV doctor, Mekhi Pfeifer.

If you watch the video below, the cover only goes up tot he 2 minute mark. After that I suggest you stop viewing. I like how the guitar player gets into it during the opening of the song by jumping up and down in one spot. Ridiculous. Does everything having to do with country music be the exact opposite of progressive and ground-breaking. It's like first there was Patsy Cline, then Johnny Cash and Elvis, and then country musicians decided to stop inovating and said, "Fuck it, let's have every country song sound the same way. Who'll notice?"

Randy Travis, that's who noticed. Both he, his nice car, his inability to write a decent song. and his lack of talent thank you.

Supporting family values.

U.S. President George W. Bush's daughter Jenna and her fiance, Henry Hager, will marry on May 10, People magazine reported on its Web site on Wednesday, citing two sources it did not identify.

The wedding will be held at the president's 1,600-acre (646-hectare) ranch in Crawford, Texas, one source told the magazine. A spokeswoman for first lady Laura Bush said she could not confirm the report and had no comment on it.

Over the last 16 years we had the very patriotic opportunity to watch the daughters of members of the executive branch grow up. Blossom, would be the term perverts might use. From Chelsea Clinton, to the Gore girls, and now the Bush twins.

Chelsea was never a looker, but she always came off as ridiculously smart. Intelligent to the point that you'd cry with shame after talking to her. Only to feel better about yourself because you realize that you prefer your women hot and dumb.....uh, I mean classy and uncomplicated. The Gore daughters where teenagers and older, but it was nice to see wholesome blonde chicks run around the campaign trail. Finally we get to the Bush twins.

There's still a debate as to which one is the smart one, and which one is the pretty one. What a let down those girls are. There was such promise after all those underage drinking issues when they were in college, running around like the spoiled brats they are. You know that if they where regular chicks from Texas they'd be knocked up or have a meth problem by now.....or both.

Jenna Bush sort of looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid, so I imagine this guy who she's marrying, fellow 1 percenter Henry Hager (see fun info here), must get off on the whole daughter of the President thing. I wonder if he has an exit strategy.......ZING!!!! Seriously, he better. You see what the Grandma looks like. Oof, that's a future where you wish for strong and aggresive cancer.

Being David Spade does not suck.

It appears comedian David Spade, 43, is going to be a father -- or so claims the pregnant former Miss March 2006, 22 year old Jillian Grace, 36-24-36 (because that's important), according to the bastion of journalistic integrity TMZ.com. Spade confirms he had a "brief relationship" with Grace, and says: "If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility." By the way, the "brief relationship" mentioned above, is a nice way of saying banging in the back of an Escalade.

Jillian Grace was discovered by the Howard Stern Show when her mother called in asking that the Stern Show crew evaluate her, then 18 year old, daughter. I'm a devoted Stern fan, and remember this vividly. At one point, during her visit, they mentioned that when she hangs out at the Playboy Mansion she has to promise them that she does not sleep with Paulie Shore, Scott Baio and...drum roll...David Spade.

But talk about sand in the KY. Spade is a 5 foot, 5 inch snarky brat, who I happen to be a big fan of. But let's be real, like most celebrities, he's not getting the high caliber ass without his position in life. Hey good for him, he worked hard at his craft and therefore "deserved" to have bagged blonde bombshell extraordinaire Heather Locklear, super-cutie Julie Bowen, obviously a bevy of Playboy Playmates, and many, many more.

I had a point that I was trying to make, but when I got to the Heather Locklear part I went into a blind rage. Does rubbing alcohol get bile out of shag carpet?

The greatest story ever.

A four week old polar bear cub opened it's eyes for the first time at the Nuremburg City Zoo. The polar bear cub had to be taken from it's mother since zoo officials feared that the mother might eat her cub. The mother was showing signs of being upset and confused, zookeepers said. The Nuremberg City Zoo's other polar bear ate its own two offspring earlier this week.

I wish humans ate their young. Yes, there's a good chance that we would have lost some of our most important and influential people, like Stalin and myself. Not that we can impliment this as a law, but think how it'd help the impoverished. Not only would they no longer be hungry, but they would have one less mouth to feed. Makes perfect sense to me. Remind me to give Cheney a call.

I do enjoy that this took place at the Nuremberg City Zoo. Imagine your legacy as a city is hanging Nazi's and baby polar bears. Epic.

Read this crap

Some links to stories across the vastness that is the world wide web.

Rachel Bilson is on the cover of GQ and much hotter, and patriotic, than I thought. I wish life had an air-brush.

There's a lot on the sloppy hot mess Britney Spears, and her supposed suicide note. Including personal fav Tyler Durden. Wow, how unbelievably huge would that be. You think your sick of the Queen of White trash now, imagine if she offed herself. It would never stop. For all our sake's, please don't do it.

The King of Men, Tom Brady takes a few seconds out of his awesome day to defend Tony Romo, and his trip to Cabo. QB's stick together, and Tom looks out for his people. this was Brady basically telling Romo to drop the washed-up, redneck pop star, and her star effing family. Take it from Tom and myself, dating supermodels is just way better.

Tom Cruise was awarded some sort of medal from the Church of Scientology, and then went on to make an insane speech. I'm glad we live in a country where a complete maniac can be worth a ton of money, and anoint himself a medical professional because he made a movie about a bartender 20 years ago. Well, I did enjoy Cocktail on second thought, Elisabeth Shue is delightful. Do you think this makes Scientology All-Star John Travolta jealous?

The people of Green Bay are truly enlightened. Football before Church, without question.

Dinosaurs would have loved Ricki and Montel.

LiveScience.com reports that Dinosaurs became sexually active as half-grown adolescents and were able to get pregnant as early as age 8, according to a new study.

Scientists also found that there where higher gang rates among the Stegosaurus and Triceratops than other dinosaurs. They weren't sure the reason for this other than a poor education system, and drug addiction among parenting and authority figures.

Many say it was a rapid decline once the crack rock hit the tar pits. South Central Pangaea was never the same.

Jessica Simpson is gay friendly

Here's Jessica Simpson, fresh off of successfully jinxing the Dallas Cowboys playoff hopes, with some random drag queen she met on the street. Such a kind heart attached to that dumb little head.

Oh, Dallas fans. It seems that Pimp Joe Simpson might have been the one to leak the photo's of the Romo/Simpson vaction to Cabo. It's nice to see that he keeps his daughter's exposure at an all time high, regardless of what unecessary insanity it brings to others. How 'bout them Cowboys.

She got them crazy eyes.

A court commissioner has decided to keep in effect an order suspending Britney Spears' right to visit her two sons and keeping them in the custody of ex-husband Kevin Federline.

The ruling by Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon came Monday after a full day of closed-door testimony on a bizarre situation this month in which police had Spears taken to a hospital after a standoff in her home when she refused to return the children to Federline's bodyguard after a visit.

The commissioner's written order noted that Federline was among the day's witnesses.
Gordon scheduled another hearing for Feb. 19.

This will be my second comment on that crazy ball of white trash and hotness, due to the former format, so I know I'm not breaking any ground here. (The last mention of her here). I find her insanity to be fascinating, yet at the same time I just want it to go away. I want the whole family to just disappear. From the knocked-up, slutty sister to the "aww shucks, did we do that" inept parenting of Jamie and Lynn Spears. Oh my god, why the fuck do I know their names!! That deserves a self inflicted jab to the eye with a spork.

And now Britney is dating this creepy paparazzi photographer, who's name I thankfully do not know. So all of you young men out there, this should be a lesson to you. If you want the insane girl of your dreams who just might stab you in your sleep, the quickest way to her heart is stalking her with a wide lense, and terrible facial hair.

Man, what happened to that jail bait that pranced around the Teen Choice Awards in a belly shirt and tight pants? Oh, the good ole sane days.

With a face like that.....

Mitt Romney scored his first major primary victory Tuesday in his native Michigan, a win he desperately needed to give his weakened candidacy new life and set the stage for a wide-open Republican showdown in South Carolina in just four days.

SURPRISE!! The guy who looks like he just sold you a Chrysler wins in Michigan. I'm pretty disappointed in the Great Lakes State. I'm not sure how a guy without a consistent message, who changes his mind every chance he gets, can get someones vote, let alone win a primary.

Let's be frank, Romney has a personality of a Geo Prism and he wears magic underwear because that's what snake-oil salesman turned prophet Joseph Smith told him to do. This win is a combination of the GOP not buying the 9/11 song and dance that Rudy is selling, and Fred Thompson not being the conservative savior many thought he would be. Wait, what happened to McCain? Oh yeah, he pulled a TO and tearfully conceded.

Politics is a wacky and wild mistress.

...And the band plays on

For the past few months the focus of this world renowned blog has been the world of sports. To comment on both the asinine and the great moments in all their splendor. Let's face it, sports only offers so much, and the same story lines exists within each sport and it can get very boring. Very, very boring.

So from now on I'll be expanding the scope of what is discussed from pop culture, to politics, to sports, and we'll be providing you with links to different sites as well. This will also give us more leeway in regards to sneaking in pics of smoking hot broads whenever possible. Like the lovely Miranda Kerr, who I just had to let down easy. She's all yours if your into that kind of thing.

As always, contributers are wanted, and needed. Holla......

The disillusioned speak.

I've never been one to hide my fandom, but I've always tried to be impartial when talking about teams and games, even the teams I despise, so I almost apologize if it looks like I'm piling on the Cowboys. Well, not really. Anyway, during a press conference yesterday Cowboy Coach Wade Phillips claimed that despite the outcome of the game, his team played better, and was the better team that day.

"After looking at the tape, I feel like the best team lost the game," he said. "I thought we outplayed them. But we lost. Certainly, that goes directly to the coach, and I accept that."

Oh Wade, yes, at times the better team loses. It happens all the time, and the Cowboys proved throughout the season that they are better than the Giants. hell, the proved to be the best team in the NFC. However, the team that plays a better game usually comes out with a win. The Giants Defense made some gutty and hard fought stops in that second half. Do you forget your team had the best offense in football this side of New England? With 47 seconds left in the first half, Manning and his offense marched down the field to score a TD to tie the game, and effectively bringing all the momentum to their side. Is that one of your examples of Dallas outplaying the Giants.

Phillips went on to talk about their 13-4 season, the NFL record 12 Pro Bowl selections, and he brought up that the team had four more wins than a year ago. He also mentioned that the team was eliminated a round deeper into the playoffs than last year, which is semantics. Dallas still lost their first playoff game, as they did last year.

I am assuming is his way of trying to say, "Please forget the guy who put this team together, and had a coaching style that many say was needed come post-season, I swear I can coach. Yes I am 0-4 as a head coach in the playoffs and he has 2 Super Bowl rings, but the last one was in the '90's!!"

Let's be frank here bub, you need to shut the eff up and call Joe Torre for lessons on how to address a season that had championship expectations written all over it, but fell short. I am by no means comparing Steinbrenner and Jerry Jones, (that would be like comparing Microsoft's top sales guy, with Mattress King's top seller for December in one of their Omaha branches), but I imagine that Jones finds very little solace in the 12 Pro Bowl appearances.

Last off-season Jason Garret was made the Offensive Coordinator, and many thought it was with the intent to give him 2-3 years of top level coaching before he took over the head coach position. Bringing in Wade Phillips was a perfect fit, as being seen as a guy that's smart enough not to fuck up a good thing, but not too smart where it would be hard to get rid of him a year or two from now when Garret is ready. Well, Jason Garret might be the coach of Baltimore or Atlanta within the next few weeks and there fore putting the kibosh on Jerry Jones' plan. You have to wonder, if Garret leaves, does Wade get the boot right behind him?

As per a previous post, here's the best thing Wade Phillips ever contributed.

Just a reminder......

TO is a crybaby.

No lucky horse-shoe for the Colts.

San Diego 28 Indianapolis 24

Peyton Manning thought he shed the "choke artist" tag when he led the Colts to a Super Bowl win last season. And then yesterday happened. Although he had a ton of help from his teammates.

The Colts Defense, led by NFL Defensive Player of the Year Bob Sanders, could not stop the Charger back-ups Billy Volek and Michael Turner from marching down the field and scoring the go ahead points. On the other side of the ball, the Colts did everything possible to not make a play. Those last two Colt drives, especially when they where down within the 20 late in the 4th quarter, was a mixture of bad play calling and terrible execution. Of course the Charger D had a say as well, they stepped up when it counted.

With the Colts, as I mentioned in an earlier post, they have a have a habit of taking their foot off the gas after they clinch their post-season standing. Outside of the Super Bowl run, they have been nothing but a post-season disappointment, seemingly not able to match the intensity of their opponent. When they made their bid a few seasons ago to go undefeated they never embraced it. They clinched home field only to watch the idiot kicker Vanderjagt's kick sail way wide right, and send them home. Without 18 magical minutes of play during last years play-off win against New England, we're talking about how Peyton Manning is the next Dan Marino.

Late season play is a big topic of discussion nowadays due to recent events, i.e., Romo in Mexico, the Giants playing a meaningless game at full speed, Tampa giving its starters two weeks rest, etc. I think it's a tricky situation and something only the coach, who should have the pulse of his team, should know how to handle based on timing and injuries. That being said, the Giants have played four high intensity games in a row and are now 1 game from the Super Bowl.

As far as the Chargers. Is there a more unlikable team this side or Terrell Owens? First, I feel I need to mention how much the Chargers have done within the SD community since the wild fires left thousands homeless. Off the field they have done what's expected of them. On the field, they are very hard to root for. When they win, or have a successful play, they act as if the just cured cancer, poverty, and the national debt all at once. When they lose, let's hark back to the Tomlinson press conference last season. This type of yapping goes on all year. They are as sore of winners as they are sore losers.

Despite how much they annoy me, I would like to see the Chargers give the Pats a game. Let's hope that Tomlinson, Gates, and yes, King of all Jackasses Philip Rivers can be healthy for the AFC Championship game. A march to the Super Bowl shouldn't be this easy.

Giants Do Dallas

The best weekend in football is upon us, the Conference Championships. Let's face it, the Super Bowl is usually a terrible game, and the high light of the evening is usually a snarky commercial that stars either some washed-up entertainer from the 70's, or a talking animal, and occasionally the the dumb best friend with stupid hair dating a hot chick because he uses a certain type of salsa. But I digress, let's recap this past weekend. I'll be doing each game in a separate post. Unless of course I get tired and lazy. Then I'll have my slave labor take time off from making designer wallets and fake NIKE's and step in for me.


Giants 21 Cowboys 17

The New York Giants are playing with house money from here on in. With two road wins, Tom Coughlin has proved that he truly has changed his coaching style, that he can coach this team, and more importantly has the team playing for him. Eli Manning has answered the inconsistency questions, and now has two wins under his belt. He's proved that he can lead a team on a high level, even without racking up the huge numbers.

The Giant Defense has also come through at big times. They exorcised the Jeff Garcia demons last week, and played big in the second half of the Dallas game. The secondary is vulnerable, but over the last two games they have been able to avoid giving up the big play. They are the epitome of a bend-don't-break defense.

For the season, their Quarterback finally came into his own and found his consistency. The young defense, along with a strong veteran presence, was able to get some traction and confidence, with a new defensive scheme under new Defensive Coordinator Steve Spagnuolo. After Tiki Barber retired there were some questions involving the running game, but Brandon Jacobs, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Derek Ward all showed they can contribute in big ways throughout a game. Regardless of what happens here on in, the Giants will be able to look back on this season as a successful one.

Perfect segue, the Dallas Cowboys on the other hand can only look back with disappointment. For most of the season they were the best team in the NFC, and with securing home field advantage, they had a clear path to the Super Bowl.

Bill Parcells put this Cowboy team together, and Wade Phillips was given the proverbial keys to the bus. All he had to do was not drive it off a cliff. In the early going Phillips was given a ton of credit for his lax attitude and that it led to the easy going, high level play of the Cowboys. It seems that loosey goosey style may have caught up with them towards the end of the season.

Tony Romo came into this league on fire, and as an undrafted free-agent he was able to play with no pressure and a lot of swagger. However, the second he signed that $60 million contract he became the franchise Quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. Not the overachieving kid having fun, and playing or the love of the game. Parcells has a check list he gives to his players, specialized to their positions. The one he gives to all Quarterback says "Do Not Become The Star Quarterback", which is supposed to keep the QB's humble and within the game. This was something Romo had taped to his locker. A few publicity stunts and a washed up pop-star later, (who by the way will need to stay far away from Dallas for the time being), this is something he seemed to forget.

Who knows if that trip affected the attitude and play of the Cowboys, at the very least it didn't help. The NFL post-season, like MLB, is revered more than other professional sports because of the small percentage of teams that make it. If I'm a team leader on offense or defense, or really a player in general, the last thing I'm thinking about going into a hard fought BYE week is taking a trip out of the country. Again, I can't be sure that the free spirited approach by the head coach and it's QB helped lead the Cowboys to their late season missteps. But this will be the most famous trip to Cabo in the history of the city of Dallas until Romo leads them to a win in the post-season.

For now, I'm not even going to comment on Terrel Owens crying while he defended Romo. I can only point out that it might be the first time he ever used the word team in a sentence. TO had a dominant season and Romo has to lend some of his success to Owens, and I am sure he does, but where was he in the second half? The Cowboys played with a ton of swagger throughout the season. They did a lot of talking, and for the most part backed it up but it will be interesting to see the approach they take during the off-season.

Big Blue

I'm going to take the night to soak the biggest Giant win since the 41-0 drubbing of the Vikings in the 2000 NFC Championship Game. In the meantime I will leave you with the following.......

Tonight its very clear

As were both lying here

Theres so many things I want to say

I will always love you

I would never leave you alone

Sometimes I just forget

Say things I might regret

It breaks my heart to see you crying

I dont wanna lose you

I could never make it alone

I am a man who will fight for your honor

Ill be the hero youre dreaming of

Well live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love

Youll keep me standing tall

Youll help me through it all

I'm always strong when youre beside me

I have always needed you

I could never make it alone

I am a man who will fight for your honor

Ill be the hero youve been dreaming of

Well live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love

Just like a knight in shining armor

From a long time ago

Just in time I will save the day

Take you to my castle far away

I am a man who will fight for your honor

Ill be the hero youre dreaming of

Were gonna live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love

Well live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love

We did it all for love

We did it all for love

We did it all for love

We did it all for love

D! Fense! D! Fense!