My former pretend girlfriend, Martina Hingis, the five-time Grand Slam champion revealed Thursday she tested positive for cocaine at Wimbledon, and will retire for a second time rather than fight what she called a "horrendous" accusation."I am frustrated and angry," the 27-year-old Hingis said at a news conference in Zurich, Switzerland, her voice breaking as she fought back tears. "I believe that I am absolutely, 100 percent innocent." She read a prepared statement ending with the vow, "I have never taken drugs," then left without taking questions.
I'm not sure what the big deal is considering all great athlete's love cocaine. From Lawrence Taylor to Doc Gooden to Len Bias (man, we really went down hill from there)....point is, who cares. What we should be talking about is how she still looks phenomenal and any German stalker in his right mind should have been rushing the court with a machete the minute she took the court at Wimbledon. In related news, I just checked with our legal department and apparently I'm immune to restraining orders. Happy day.
1 comment:
God she's great, isn't she folks?
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