Bart hearts Xenu and Tom Cruise.

As I listened to this, a little bit of me died inside. Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, has recorded a mass message to promote a night with her at the Scientology center. During the message she goes in and out of the Bart Simpson voice that has made her a ridiculous amount of money over the past 20 years.

Cartwright will be auditing with OT-7's. Thankfully I have no idea what that is, but I can tell you that if you send me $50, I will heal you.