Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he apparently caught the wrong signals from a local raccoon, and he tried to rape the unsuspecting animal. In a fit of rage, the rightfully defensive and angry animal bit Kirilov's penis off.
Plastic surgeons are working to try and reattach his junk.
“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal. “That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with."
Wow, if there's anybody in the world that deserves a penis less than this guy it will be a very short list. I'm trying to fathom how much Stoli it would take to find a raccoon attractive. Even if I did reach that level of inebriation, I'm pretty sure I'd try smooth talking my way into that raccoons pants. After all, my rep within the animal kingdom is pretty solid.
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